Tummy Twigger

Keep Smiling!!!!!! (¨`•.•´¨) It Is The Second `•.¸(¨`•.•´¨) Best Thing U Can Do (¨`•.•´¨)¸.•´ With Your Lips! `•.¸.•´

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Time for some male bashing.....

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.





Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...





Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.





Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....





Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.





Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.





Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business



Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .



Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...



Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.



Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!



Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Some Hights of....

B4 v alll saw the hights of the eeee- world right now here r some more hight s v u 2 enjoy!



1. What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip

2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards .

3. What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

4. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

6. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

7. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

8. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

9. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder

25 facts of life (in bit of funny way:)

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.

6. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

8. My reality check bounced.

9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

10. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

12. Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup
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13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

14. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
15. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

16. Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

18. The more junk you put up with, the more junk you are going to get.

19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clip board.

20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

21. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

22. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

23. Following the rules will not get the job done.

24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

25.Due to the never-ending workload, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off until further notice.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Interesting Riddle....

This is an interesting riddle.

Try to solve it on ur own....................

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot.

Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him! .

But to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.

Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries.

The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves.

This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical.

If necessary read the puzzle once again.

Still you couldn't,!

Then see below.........


think hard tired....


wanna know the answer????

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Answer :During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him.

But during the third time, he was a good conductor, electricity passed through him freely and he died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!!


Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter on Electricity ???


OK, OK.... No violence please..........

Friday, May 12, 2006

Funny Shairy :)

Gungat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Dewanna Hua,
Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua,
Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
Masti Kamastaana Hua,
Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua!


Teri LOVELY EYES Ne
Mujpe Ek EFFECT Kiya Hai
Ki Meene Sabko REJECT Karke
Tujko SELECT Kiya Hai


Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga
Doosri Ladki Ko Dekha To Vaisa Laga
Jab Dono Ke Joote Lage...To Ek Jaisa Laga!!!


Bewafa Tum Ho To Wafadaar Hum Bhi Nahi,
Besharam Tum Ho To Sharamdaar Hum Bhi Nahi,
Pyaar Ke Is Mode Par Aake Kehte Ho Shadishuda Ho
To Kya Hua Darling...Kunware Hum Bhi Nahin!


Woh Ladki Kitni Pyaari Thi,
Jis Ko Aankh Maari Thi Woh Sendal Kitni Bhaari Thi,
Jo Us Ney Sar Per Maari Thi


kabhi kehte the dost hamare ke
"jaan bhi maango to hazir hai",
Aaj apni bivi ko jaan kehte hai ,
aur maango to inkaar karte hain


Zamane ke dar se teri tasweer toilet mein chupai rakhi hai!
dedar ho tera bar bar isliye julab ki goli kha rakhi hai


Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana...
Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana...
Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana.


God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you... well everybody makes mistakes.

I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!

When words fail... eyes work,
when eyes fail... heart works,
and when heart fails... to kya?
samajh le TAPAK gaya 'MAAMU'

The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

Geet Ka Saar: SMS woh gyaan hai jo baantne se badta hai, isiliye he praani tu bill ka moh tyag de aur SMS kar, isi se tera manushaya janm safal hoga.

Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali, jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se awaaz aaye, Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!

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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Mental swim...

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"