Tummy Twigger

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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Sardar again....

1. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

2 . How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

4. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached therein a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach inthe evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, kihoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said,"Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain,aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

6. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion?
Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to aconclusion:
I'll drink poison n let lion eat me.
O' bolo ta ra ra.

7. Sardar: Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying....
When aPerson asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher StudiesYaar...!!!

8. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "MyMobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

9. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " ILOVE U SISTER."

10. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

11. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!

12. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam

13. Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College.
Banta : Really, what is he studying,
Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

14. Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

15.Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.The shop owner gave him the flag.Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

16.Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

17.Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

18.Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

19.Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: No, u'll die b'coz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

20. A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains?”
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

21. Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

22.What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi!!!

23.Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

24.Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever - What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

25.Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

26.Banta Singh was a business graduate, and had been out
of school for several years. He had established a
furniture store and was doing quite well. He decided
to expand the lines he carried by adding some
expensive French furniture he knew no one else in town

He scheduled a buying trip to France. Banta's first
day in Paris was very successful and he found a number
of pieces he thought he could profitably sell back
home. After the arrangements were made to begin
shipping this furniture home, he decided to celebrate
with a glass of wine in a small sidewalk cafe.

The place was jammed, but he managed to find an empty
table. Just about the time his wine arrived, a
beautiful girl came by and motioned to the empty chair
at his table with a questioning look on her face.

He assumed she wanted to sit with him and nodded his
head "yes." The girl sat down with him. The girl tried
to talk to him, but, alas, he understood not one word
of French. He tried to talk to her, but, alas, she
understood not one word of Punjabi. He had an idea. He
took a napkin and drew a wine glass and a question
mark. She nodded her head "yes." They sat quietly
enjoying their wine.

When it was just about finished, Banta realized it was
nearly time for dinner. He took another napkin and
drew a picture of two people at a table eating dinner.
She nodded her head "yes" and took him by the hand.
She led him down the street to a very nice restaurant.
They went in. The girl spoke with the head waiter and
they were seated in a quiet corner where they could
hear the band playing and see the dance floor. Banta
could not read the menu since it was in French, so he
allowed the girl to order for him. The food was
excellent and the couple thoroughly enjoyed it.

After dinner, Banta took a napkin and drew a picture
of a couple dancing. She nodded her head "yes" and
they danced to every song the band played, whether
fast or slow. When the band quit playing and began to
pack away their instruments,the couple returned to
their table.

The girl took a napkin and reached for Banta's pen.He
handed it to her and she drew a picture of a four
poster bed.................!

Banta is still wondering to this day how she knew he
was in the furniture business !

27.A sardarji goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Mr., can you tell us your age, please?"
The sardarji counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um ... 22."
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"
The sardarji stands up and produces a measuring tape from his handbag..he then traps one end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. he checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the he won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
The sardarji bobs his head from side to side for about fifteen seconds!
Mouthing something silently to himself, before replying, "Gurpreet!”.
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?""Oh, that!" replies the sardarji," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...Happy Birthday dear Gurpreet...happy birthday to you...'."

28.sardar kya sochte sochte marr gaya ???
agar meri bahan se do bhai hain, to mera sirf ek kaise ?

29.Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee.
Wife Boli Kyu?
Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00

30.Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends. I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney.

31.Sardar 2 Salesman, I Need Pink curtains for my computer.
Salesman Sardarji Computer Doesnt Need Curtains.
Sardarji: Oye i have windows installed.

32.Nurse: Sardarji Mubarak Ho Aap Papa Ban Gaye!!
Sardar: Meri Wife Ko Mat Bolna Main Usse Surprise Dunga!!

33.A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.
because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"


At 6:46 AM, Blogger punjabi~car~freak! said...

amazing I like ur blog collection

keep on going
someday when I want my kids also to laugh I'll suggest ur tummy twigger

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