Tummy Twigger

Keep Smiling!!!!!! (¨`•.•´¨) It Is The Second `•.¸(¨`•.•´¨) Best Thing U Can Do (¨`•.•´¨)¸.•´ With Your Lips! `•.¸.•´

Thursday, July 06, 2006


C----- Come
O----- On
L------ Lets
L------ Love
E----- Each
G----- Girl or guy
E------Equally !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Engineers AnthemHum hoge all clear Ek din, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, humhoge all clear ek dinMale Engineers PrayerAllah ke naam pe ek girl friend de de babaDoosre ki nahi to apni he de de babaAllah tujhe ek ke badle do degaHillary hogi to Monika bhi degaExamsexams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aayaKUCH TO HUA HAI KUCH HO GAYA HAI,exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aayaSAB KUCH ALAG HAI SAB KUCH NAYA HAI.Engineers' ShayariWoh Padosi hi kya Jiski khoobsurat Kuwari beti na ho!!Woh engineering hi kya Jisme K.T. na ho!!!Top two Engineering Rumours'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm''Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at Govt. college ,I got the timetable for this exams'The most dreaded acronym for EngineersATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)( Aaj Thoda Kal Thoda)The most important criteria while selecting an engineering collegeGirl to Boy ratio ( if more than 0.025% than that college is engineers dream come true)Engineers at workAssignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transferoperations throughout the classThe most important machine for EngineersXerox Machine ( Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)The most important table in an Engineers HouseThe glass table ( to carry out GT operations all night long)The only que an Engineer is familiar withSubmission QueAn Engineers favorite watchBird Watch !

ENgg. Definitions:Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.Senior: guys who got ragged as juniors and wanna get some payback...Fresher: Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...Really Dumb Fresher: Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.Really Really Dumb fresher: guy who follows the senior to the canteen.Ragging: The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.Babe: After two years in Engineering, anything remotely female qualifies that title. Beautiful: 99.99% of the girls are beautiful, rest 0.01% are in my college.
Couple: Rich/Handsome/Intelligent Guys(But everyone pity on them...."Poor Guys") and Girls(Not beautiful strictly.....Coz they are not meant for Engg.) going together.
Female: Anything Female.
KT: makes you suicidal...Year Drop: makes dad homicidal.Reevaluation: Cruel joke taking its own time to make you cry... (Results of revel come after you give the KT exam).Principal: Biggest idiot on campus. Unfortunately also the mostpowerful idiot on campus.Fear: what you feel when the prof who's signature you forged on the journal hesitates to turn the page...Irony: The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.Critical Calculation: Summing up the marks you attempted in the exam...Sleep: Huh! What the heck's that? ...
Night outs: A Compulsory substitute of Sleeps. Lecturers: The biggest Devils in Human, with basic characteristic of torturing students. HOD: The Don of Devils who's to be worshipped as GOD. Marks: Unexpected figures we get after exams. Term Work: Nothing to do with the work in term. Oral: Where two people sit and only one person speaks...................................the other is student. Submission work: The work which is to be completed during the submission going on. Submission: Mission impossible made possible..........somehow Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper.'What is this pal, more than 60% of the paper was out of the syllabus''This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history''I am failing’! 'I got screwed royally' 'This was never asked before' 'Time nahi mila'(ironically most of those make such comments get 1st class and those who think they will survive somehow get K.T.)Feeling after Completing EngineeringSurvived Engineering Have a great life with good jobs. -A Survivor. Enjoy!!!!!

Sardar again....

1. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

2 . How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

4. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached therein a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach inthe evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, kihoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said,"Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain,aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

6. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion?
Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to aconclusion:
I'll drink poison n let lion eat me.
O' bolo ta ra ra.

7. Sardar: Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying....
When aPerson asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher StudiesYaar...!!!

8. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "MyMobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

9. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " ILOVE U SISTER."

10. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

11. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!

12. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam

13. Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College.
Banta : Really, what is he studying,
Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

14. Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

15.Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.The shop owner gave him the flag.Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

16.Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

17.Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

18.Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

19.Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: No, u'll die b'coz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

20. A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains?”
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

21. Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

22.What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi!!!

23.Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

24.Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever - What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

25.Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

26.Banta Singh was a business graduate, and had been out
of school for several years. He had established a
furniture store and was doing quite well. He decided
to expand the lines he carried by adding some
expensive French furniture he knew no one else in town

He scheduled a buying trip to France. Banta's first
day in Paris was very successful and he found a number
of pieces he thought he could profitably sell back
home. After the arrangements were made to begin
shipping this furniture home, he decided to celebrate
with a glass of wine in a small sidewalk cafe.

The place was jammed, but he managed to find an empty
table. Just about the time his wine arrived, a
beautiful girl came by and motioned to the empty chair
at his table with a questioning look on her face.

He assumed she wanted to sit with him and nodded his
head "yes." The girl sat down with him. The girl tried
to talk to him, but, alas, he understood not one word
of French. He tried to talk to her, but, alas, she
understood not one word of Punjabi. He had an idea. He
took a napkin and drew a wine glass and a question
mark. She nodded her head "yes." They sat quietly
enjoying their wine.

When it was just about finished, Banta realized it was
nearly time for dinner. He took another napkin and
drew a picture of two people at a table eating dinner.
She nodded her head "yes" and took him by the hand.
She led him down the street to a very nice restaurant.
They went in. The girl spoke with the head waiter and
they were seated in a quiet corner where they could
hear the band playing and see the dance floor. Banta
could not read the menu since it was in French, so he
allowed the girl to order for him. The food was
excellent and the couple thoroughly enjoyed it.

After dinner, Banta took a napkin and drew a picture
of a couple dancing. She nodded her head "yes" and
they danced to every song the band played, whether
fast or slow. When the band quit playing and began to
pack away their instruments,the couple returned to
their table.

The girl took a napkin and reached for Banta's pen.He
handed it to her and she drew a picture of a four
poster bed.................!

Banta is still wondering to this day how she knew he
was in the furniture business !

27.A sardarji goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Mr., can you tell us your age, please?"
The sardarji counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um ... 22."
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"
The sardarji stands up and produces a measuring tape from his handbag..he then traps one end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. he checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the he won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
The sardarji bobs his head from side to side for about fifteen seconds!
Mouthing something silently to himself, before replying, "Gurpreet!”.
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?""Oh, that!" replies the sardarji," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...Happy Birthday dear Gurpreet...happy birthday to you...'."

28.sardar kya sochte sochte marr gaya ???
agar meri bahan se do bhai hain, to mera sirf ek kaise ?

29.Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee.
Wife Boli Kyu?
Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00

30.Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends. I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney.

31.Sardar 2 Salesman, I Need Pink curtains for my computer.
Salesman Sardarji Computer Doesnt Need Curtains.
Sardarji: Oye i have windows installed.

32.Nurse: Sardarji Mubarak Ho Aap Papa Ban Gaye!!
Sardar: Meri Wife Ko Mat Bolna Main Usse Surprise Dunga!!

33.A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.
because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"